My Thoughts on Gay Marriage

A long time ago a young colleague told me he was gay. It was an emotional admission that came across to me less as a relief than a confession on his part. He was the first person I knew personally who identified himself this way and it was clear he was looking for acceptance. The best I could do at the time was only to acknowledge his statement, since I was neither ready nor able to give him more.

I didn't realize it at the time, but now I know having that conversation allowed me to consider him not as broken or hurting because he was homosexual, but simply as a human in need of a salve for his pain. I could not judge him or consider I held any kind of righteous sway over him. I may have been powerless to ease his ache, but I also had no right, no need, no desire to regard him as anything less than who he was.

And now, one of the social challenges we have is how to evaluate the desire for homosexual couples to be allowed to marry. In short, I agree with gay marriage and I see no need for any restrictions outside of the requirements for marriage all are subject to. If I were to be asked, here are the points I have come to in my thinking about this subject.

The first is that I consider gay marriage only within a legal framework and not a religious one. The realm for marriage, at least in terms of tax consideration, survivor's benefits and access to other legal and medical benefits, is a political one. And insofar as one can keep their political bent separate from their moral one, gay marriage has not only its place, but a rightful one.

Another relates to how people react when they ponder a sexual act between two homosexuals. My response is to say there is nothing pristine about heterosexual relations that make them more highfalutin' than whatever homosexuals do. Therefore, righteous indignation and uncomfortable contemplation are misplaced and unneeded in the conversation about gay marriage.

The third area of consideration is within our brains themselves. It has been shown that while in spiritual reverie we are using a part of the brain that is separate from those areas that are purely emotional or entirely rational. Instead, we feel more connected to the world around us with normal barriers to acceptance broken down. I submit that all who have felt this way would agree there is no need to conflate these thoughts of love and reverence with cravenly opinionated or heartlessly logical thinking.

So what am I - are we - to do? To put it simply, it's to make the world - this often uncaring, inscrutable place - less prone to causing needless human pain. In my opinion, allowing gay marriage is an incremental step in doing so.