One Word

A small boy heard about an uncle in his family who everyone made fun of. It was said that if you went to visit the uncle, he would give you something. But the only thing he ever gave, it was said, was one word.

The boy laughed with the others whenever they talked about this uncle, but somewhere in the back of his mind, he was curious about his uncle's gift.

As the boy grew older, he was aware of his success at school, accomplishments athletically and good standing among his peers. But he was unsure about what his future held for him, and at times he was afraid that things would not turn out right.

He was accepted to a good college and earned a degree that made him sought after by companies who wanted to hire him. As he spoke to representatives of these big companies, he realized that he still had curiosity about his uncle.

His parents helped pay for his trip to see his uncle. The now young man had actually met the uncle when he was younger, but it was only in a group setting. Now he would get a chance to talk to him one-to-one.

As he traveled to see his uncle, his thoughts went back and forth between thinking his uncle would be of no help to him, and his strong desire to hear what his uncle had to say.

Finally, he reached his uncle's apartment and he rang the bell. When the door opened, the young man saw an older man he recognized. But now in person, he realized how soft the features of his uncle's face were and the comfort he felt as his uncle greeted him.

They sat and talked about many small things, then about the young man's family and what his plans were now that he had graduated. The young man finally felt like he could talk to his uncle about the real reason for his visit.

He told his uncle about what he had heard when he was younger; that people said his uncle would give them something when they visited, but it was just one word.

His uncle looked at him and smiled, then said, "Yes, that's right. Most people don't realize that only a small change in your thinking is needed to make big changes in your life. So, if people ask me for advice, I first ask them a question."

The young man was slightly confused, but eager to go on. "What question do you ask?", he prompted his uncle.

His uncle smiled, then looked at him and said, "It is a simple question, but you must give me a thoughtful answer. Tell me - what are you trying to do with your life?"

The young man was still a little unsure, but he had been answering similar questions when he went through his interviews with the big companies. He thought for a long time, then said to his uncle:

"I am trying to achieve financial success, happiness in my family and a place where I can help the world."

His uncle gave a small grunt of acknowledgement, then looked up for a few seconds. He then gave this reply to the young man: "For you, I do have just one word. Change the word 'achieve' to 'maintain.'"

The young man still looked a little confused. After a few seconds his uncle went on.

"You have virtuous goals and great desires. My advice is to realize that the path to achieving a goal begins now. When you want to 'achieve,' instead live a life to 'maintain.' Assume you have your goals, be confident of them, live them now."

Live now in the present for the future ahead of you.

Sources of African Unease in the United States

It is common to describe the world as being divided between modern and traditional, those participating in finance based economics and those reliant on resources for wealth. Another way to point out the distinction is to list countries as to whether they have McDonald's restaurants or not. Despite these differences, it is apparent in a general way that the trend in the world is the movement of people from rural to urban living and a migration from traditional to modern ways of living. While this movement seems inevitable when viewed on a larger scale, there are a number of stresses that people feel who make this transition. Immigrants from Cameroon form one group who experience the unease of living in a Western society after first growing in their own country.

Cameroonians have a generally high regard for the United States, what it stands for and particularly its wealth. There is no doubt that life in the US can offer improvements for many Cameroonians; opportunity for advanced education and the chance to find a job in which an advanced skill can be used are two examples. However, it is important that people in Cameroon and other non-Western countries do not let the relative advantages of the United States blind them to uncomfortable realities they will encounter if they come and live in the U.S. These are aspects of living that may not be critical when each is considered independently, but they can combine to produce a real sense of unhappiness and desire for their home country. The purpose of this letter is to describe these aspects in order to help people understand them.

Less sense of community with neighbors: In most Cameroonian villages or neighborhoods people are seen moving through the streets or fields during all daylight hours. Among those moving are people of nearly all ages from young to old. A byproduct of this movement is the frequent interaction with others, either while walking, in the market, at home or traveling to the farm. And because of the temperate to hot weather, many household activities such as food preparation, cooking and washing clothes are performed outside. These sometimes menial tasks are perfect opportunities for neighbors to get together. It is also customary for Cameroonians to be visited by what Americans would consider distant relatives on a regular basis. It is possible to find living situations in the US which are very social; however, it can be difficult to match what is available in the home country. and leaves many Cameroonians feeling a missing sense of community with neighbors.

There is no farm or village in which to find refuge from urban life: In our contemporary United States, relatively few people live outside of urban or suburban areas. In these non-rural places, it is possible to have a garden or even be able to plant on public land. And some people have a second home that is located in a less populated part of the country. But generally, these situations arise from families that have lived in this country for a long time. So, it is hard for an immigrant to acquire properties of this kind. In the case of most Cameroonians, there is some affiliation to a village. This usually includes knowing a family member who still lives in a village. There may even be traditional acts that must be fulfilled in the village. But the most powerful draw of the village may be the local dialect spoken by only a relative few. Some have compared the comfort of speaking the language of the village to that of wearing an old shoe.

No true land ownership: Ownership of real estate in the West is for the most part in name only. It is true that the structure and other assets do belong in whole to the owner, but in most cases the land itself is held by the local jurisdiction. So that even if the structure has been completely paid for, the owner still must pay real estate taxes on the land. And if they are not paid, the owner can lose the right to stay on that land. This differs from the sense of ownership in Cameroon, where the land itself is what is purchased. And there is no obligation of tax such that if not met the right to the land is jeopardized. That it is present in the US can be hard to understand.

No autonomy in how to raise and discipline children: To the credit of the United States and other Western countries, children are protected from illness through vaccinations, from hunger because of food stamps and child seats which keep them from grievous peril while in a car. But there are even laws which compel teachers and other figures of authority to file a report if they suspect or are informed of child abuse or endangerment. Again, this is to the benefit of children. However, most Cameroonians are not familiar with this idea of protecting children from all appearance of harm, since most schools in their country have an administrator called the Discipline Master. And while the expression of corporal punishment may not be looked back on fondly, its place in Cameroon society is still expected not only in school but the home.

Continued presence of people who are uncomfortable with the color of your skin: In virtually all of the United States there is not continual blatant discrimination against persons of color. However, there are innumerable instances of words that are spoken, actions taken or attitudes expressed that occur because of a person’s color. Thankfully, these do not happen as often as they once did. But over the course of time, enough do come up that can make a Cameroonian unhappy about how they are perceived in this country. They can also make non-racial injustices harder to accept and can generate an unease about a place they now call home. To be sure, Cameroonians can find ways to discern differences; there are opportunities for differentiation based on language, religion and politics. However, there are generally none based solely on skin color.

To be sure, there are a great many advantages to life in the United States. But it is not a perfect society and there are particular sources of discomfort for Cameroonians who move to the United States. In general, they reflect somewhat the difference between traditional and contemporary living and for this reason can be used as examples for others who make the same kind of transition.